The big freak-out of October 2012

The first session of General Conference this weekend threw everyone for a loop. Why? The mission age requirement has been dropped. For the young men: age 18, as long as they are graduated from high school/the equivilent. AND for the young women: 19. 19 years of age. Dropped down two years. Every single girl in the church, particularly the 18, 19, and 20 year olds reconsidered their life plans, even if it was just for a moment. And then practically every 19 year old said enthusiastically, "I'm going on a mission RIGHT NOW!!!"

This has caused me to do a lot of thinking. And I want to share some of my feelings pertaining to this. This lowering of the age limit is fantastic. I know it is approved by God. I'm excited for those young men who are now able to go on a mission right after high school, instead of waiting a year - if that is what they desire. I'm excited for the young women who are able to go serve the Lord and teach what they love a whole 2 years before they would have been able to, just 3 short days ago.

Now, this doesn't mean that every single boy at 18 years of age needs to - or should - go on a mission. They can wait until age 19, or even later! And, this doesn't mean that every girl needs to - or should -  go at 19. They can go at 20, 21, after they finish college, at 25, or they don't even have to go! It's not a duty of a young woman to go! We have other responsibilities that may take priority, depending on each person's situation. But, it is important that the young men, at age 18, and the young women, at age 19, should prayerfully consider if going on a mission at that time is right for them. Why? Because the opportunity is there for them, and although it may not be our responsiblity at that time to go, it is still our responsibility to ask. And, it is our responsibility to be willing to do whatever the Lord asks of us. Are you willing to give up everything if He asks you to go? Scholarships, opportunities, jobs, forking out that kind of money. Are you willing?

Why the lowering of the ages? Well...signs of the times! The quickening of the Lord's work! He needs more missionaries. He needs more people devoting their time to sharing the Gospel. It's a huge work - like a stone moving forth out of the mountains. It can't be stopped! And we have to keep up with it! And, I think that we, as a church, are going to need the experience of many more missionaries in families and in wards, to strengthen testimonies. The times ahead are going to be difficult ones, but we have the Light and the Truth.

This is a fantastic opportunity, and I'm excited to see what happens in the world. Great and marvelous things are about to happen. I can feel it in my very soul! And, if you haven't watched the press conference about this, I would recommend you look it up. I would post it on here, but I'm too lazy for that...

The trouble with freshman

I've mentioned before how there's a bajillion of freshmen here. You know how freshmen are. Immature. Rude. Spacy. Flaky. Sometimes scared out of their mind of the upperclassmen. Whiny because they miss Mommy and Daddy and home-cooked meals (although a lot of them still have Mommy and Daddy paying for everything). This class of freshmen is the biggest NAU has ever had. Seems like lots of fun, right?

Actually...it IS a lot of fun. The freshmen that I have come into contact with have been rather spectacular. In fact, most of the new friends I've made have been little freshmen girls. And by little...I don't mean little. Because I'm pretty sure Shirley has like a good 8 inches on me. And some of them are only like 3 months younger than me. These past few weeks, I've been looking at the freshmen that have been around me, mostly at church, (I may or may not ignore other freshmen because they bother me.) and I've been astounded.

At first I was like, "Dude. Why is it that I'm being drawn to become friends with them? There's lots of other new people here. And lots of people who were here last year that I still don't know." I've always gotten along well with people older than me and people in the grade just below me. I figured the reason why I get along with people older than me has to do with the fact that I've dealt with people older than me all my life. That happens when you have 8 older siblings, I guess. But, for whatever reason, it took me forever to figure out why I got along really well with the people in the grade just below me. Until I remembered that, if I had been born 3 months later, I would be in the same grade as them. Duh. I guess I just get so used to people being so surprised when I tell them that I'm 19 (or when I was 18) because they thought I was at least 21. Or when an adorable old lady last year thought me and Amy were twins and when we told her that there was a three year difference and one was a freshman and the other was a senior, she thought I was the older one. (Win!) Or when people tell my I'm more mature than most people my age. I have to remind myself that I'm on the young end of my grade. I'm a baby sophomore. I was a baby freshman.

And then, I come to realize that a lot of the freshmen that I'm becoming friends with are quite incredible. I mean, they're still obviously freshmen. Most of them still have that newbie air around them. A little bit unsure, not quite confident in what they're doing, a little bit shell-shocked, and they tend to stay in groups. It's like they're scared of older college students or something. But then I see their spiritual strength, I come to know some of the things they've had to do or deal with in their life, or see how they're handling college life and being away from home and I'm humbled. Because my life has been relatively easy. Most of my struggles have been emotional, and I've been able to get over those pretty quickly. And my first week up here was...well, I was a train wreck by the end of it. Not very many people knew, though, because I didn't know anyone at that time. So they saw me as the calm and collected freshmen who had been living in Flagstaff since June. These freshmen are so much cooler than I was as a freshmen. It's definitely humbling.

It makes me think of the whole rising generation thing. There are definitely many incredible souls here on this earth at this time, because we are the rising generation. I'm grateful for these freshmen  I'm getting to know. I'm grateful they chose to come up to Flagstaff and that our paths have crossed - Heavenly Father's foresight is incredible and I've come to recognize the importance of making sure that those people He places in my life become people I love, trust, and call my friends. Because that's why He places them in my life. So, yeah. I'm drowning in freshmen. But, they're pretty cool, so I guess it's not too bad.

Love

Today at church I was filled with a whole lot of...feelingness. I tried writing it down in words at sacrament meeting, but what I was feeling went a whole lot deeper than just mere words. Words can be powerful. Words can influence others. Words can invite the spirit or drive it away.  But words are insufficient for deep, deep feelings. And what I was feeling today was love.

Love is an incredible thing. Now, I'm not talking being in love. Though I'm sure that is amazing. I'm just talking about love in general. Love is...love is everything. Everything is love - or, everything that is important and that has power. God is love. Jesus Christ is love. The Gospel is love. The Priesthood is love. I think that happiness comes from love -whether it's love for those around you or love for whatever it is you're doing. Love is SO important. And, earlier this week, I came to the conclusion that I need to do a whole lot more loving. I need to be more loving - be kinder, do more service for those around me, express the love that I have for others. Everything that I do in life should be motivated by love - whether it's love for my God, love for those around me, or even love for myself. But, my life should be about love. And, it's funny. Since I've had that inspiration and made that decision, life has just thrown me a bunch of little things that made me frustrated and annoyed with people. It was like immediate opposition in my resolve to love more - which, in reality, reinforces to me that this is exactly what I need to be doing. Not that it makes it any easier.

So, today in church, in remembering all this about love and its importance, all the feelingness that I was experiencing was simply...love. Intense love. A love that I simply cannot put into words. I sing in the ward choir, and today we sang "How Great Thou Art." I cried like a little baby - which, as a side note, embarrassed me to no end. I hate crying when no one else is. But, I couldn't not cry, because of the overwhelming feeling of love that I had. It was as the song said, "Then sings my soul, my Savior God to Thee, how great Thou art! How great Thou art!" My soul truly was singing, my entire being was exclaiming those words! How great Thou art! Think about it. Think about what Christ has done for you.

"And when I think, that God, His Son not sparing,
Sent him to die, I scarce can take it in.
That on the cross, my burden gladly bearing,
He bled and died to take away my sin

When Christ shall come, with shout of acclamation,
And take me home, what joy shall fill my heart.
Then I shall bow in humble adoration,
And there proclaim: My God, how great Thou art!"

Gladly bearing. Jesus bore our burdens gladly because of His love for us. If you do not have a testimony of Christ, if you don't believe in Him and can't understand why I feel the way I feel, why I share whenever I can my testimony and love for Christ and this Gospel,  then at least just do this: Picture a man, the kindest, gentlest, most giving man you know. This man loves you. A lot. Much like your brother or father or someone like that. This man wipes away every tear you shed. This man, when you are struggling will come to you and help you in any way possible. He comforts you when you are in the deepest despair. When you feel you can't go on anymore, he lifts you up from the ground, carries you, wraps his arms around you. He puts a smile on your face when you feel like nothing could ever do so. He is always, always there for you, like your best friend, but MORE. THAT is Jesus Christ. Except infinitely more. He suffered every little thing that we have gone through and will go through. He took our burdens upon Himself. He cried our tears. He felt our pains. He felt our stress, our sadness, our frustrations, our despair. And, I love Him for it. I love Him more than I could ever express.

But, that's the thing. I need to express that love. How does one do that? By loving others, I think. If I truly love Him, I will love those around me. I will serve them, thereby serving Him. One day, hopefully some day soon, Christ will come. I cannot wait for that day. Because, I will bow, I will kneel, and I will tell Him everything that He means to me. And I hope that He will be able to tell me that the way I lived my life reflected the love I have for Him.

This man. I love Him. I know Him. He is my Savior. My brother. My best friend. So much love. So much feeling for Him that I literally cannot express.

How I Feel

This morning while doing my scripture study, I had a very sweet experience. And, I don't think mere words would be able to explain just what happened. But, to put it simply, I was filled with an intense love. Love for Christ.  And, I wanted to shout it to the world. Shout that Christ is real, that Jesus is our Savior, and He loves us! I wanted to shout my love for and my testimony of him. But, of course, my timid manner of speaking in situations I'm not completely comfortable in is a terrible weakness of mine, and I feel I can't do that. (I mean, I know I can. It just terrifies me, and I can't think of a situation in which I might be able to do it for reals.) So, I've decided to do it in the form that I AM completely comfortable with: writing. Writing is the only way - save music - that I feel I can express myself in the way I want to. I feel it's the only way I can get my feelings out, just right - usually. Sometimes music is the only way I can do that.

Anyways. I would feel incredibly ungrateful if I did not do this. I know Christ is my Savior and my Redeemer. My Elder brother and my Best Friend. I can rely on Him, no matter what. No matter where life takes me. He wants  to help us, He wants us to come to Him, He wants  to ease our burdens and make our life easier. How many people do you know who want that constantly? And, if you are lucky enough to come across someone like that in this life, can't you see Christ in their eyes?

I've recently decided I needed to make some changes in my life - and they're hard changes to make. But, now, there's nothing else I want to do more than make those changes - and make them permanent. Why? Well, so I can become like Him. So people will be able to look at me, and see Him, and be drawn to Him. So that my life will not be about my own life, but about His. I want, above all other things, to be able to hug Him someday and look up into His eyes, and see nothing but joy because I have lived the way I needed to and because I have achieved the ultimate achievement of eternal life. And, I want Him to know, because of the way I have led my life, that I love Him. That I love Him and Heavenly Father above all things.

I have a testimony of Christ. I hope my words have touched you. If you are uncertain of Christ, of His love for you, find out for yourself! I promise you, you will never be the same. Christ loves you. He loves me. He is the greatest man to have ever walked the Earth, and I'm SO grateful I am able to know Him.

The first week

So, this week was the first week of school for NAU. It was a...very hard week. When I got home from work everyday (I'm done with all my classes by like 1, and then I go to work until we close) I just wanted to sit on the couch and not talk to anyone, not see anyone, and not do anything whatsoever. But...I did. Do you know how hard that is? I admire my mother SO much! She'd come home from work, super tired, from working all day, and then she'd go finish the laundry I neglected to do, go cook dinner, and wash dishes. I can barely motivate myself to write in my journal by the end of the day, and it's not like that takes tons of energy.

Anyways. It was hard. I was tired. I was busy. Running around all over the place. Having to pretend to be all happy and perky when I felt like poop. There were moments of happiness, obviously. Institute. Choir. Making new friends. Skyping Christine.

Wednesday night, I finally got a hold of a planner and wrote my whole life down in it, and made a goal to write to-do lists every day - at least, every school day - to keep my life organized and on track. It made a HUGE difference. Thursday was a fantastic day! The best day I've had for awhile.

I think I know why this week was so hard. I've striven to make some changes recently. And they're hard changes to make. Anyone who truly knows me well know that I generally don't put forth more effort than I need to. I've realized...that's not the way to live life. I need to be trying my best in all that I do. But...for a somewhat lazy person, that's a hard change to make. So that made this week SO difficult, because I was trying to work hard and get things done, but then I'd be so tired, have so much to do, and things would just happen to get in the way of me being productive. It was SO frustrating!

Also. Freshman are taking over the school. I feel like I'm drowning in freshman. It's not exactly a bad thing. Most of the ones I've come in contact with are pretty cool. And the other ones I've only come in contact with in the Card office, so I've only had to deal with them for a couple of minutes. I like to give some of them a hard time, though. I feel like it's my prerogative as someone who was a freshman last year, especially sense practically everyone who didn't know me before didn't know I was a freshman.

There's been no racquetball in my life, because I'm poor and haven't been able to pay my fees for the rec center. It's a sad truth, but after I get the paycheck for working Death Week (a whole other story) I'll be able to pay all my fees and have enough to buy me pizza for a month. (Don't worry, Mom. I won't go buy pizza for a month. I'd get fat.)

So, that's my life the past week. At least the very brief, and random version. The end. 

Please enjoy this picture of me being awesome and shooting a gun. (Don't ask questions. I'm feeling random.)

2012 Olympics

For the first few days of the Olympics I was in Flagstaff. With work and no TV. Not able to watch the Olympics. It was causing me great distress. I mean, the Olympics only happen once every two years. And the summer Olympics happen only once every fours years. That means I have very little opportunity to watch volleyball matches played by Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh - and getting to see them win their third gold medal, finishing up their third Olympics undefeated! You know. Those great athletes and great events like that! But, luckily, I came down to Mesa for the majority of the Olympic Games, so I've been able to get my fill.

I've loved watching the Olympics. My determination to watch as many events as possible made me a little bit lazy. But, what impressed me this time around - maybe it's the fact that I actually had time to watch the events, and the fact that I'm older and slightly more mature than I was in the past - wasn't necessarily the athlete's skill and the number of medals won. It was the love they had. Love for their country, their teammates, and even those they competed against. To see people from other countries go straight to the gold medal winner and give them a great big hug, or give compliments, was fantastic. To see an athlete win gold, and then immediately run to their coach, because of their gratitude for the help and support they've given. To see medal winners, when interviewed, say, "I'm just so grateful for this opportunity." "I've been so very blessed." To see them attribute their success not only on their own hard work, but their coach, their family and friends, even God. You see, the Olympics isn't just about winning.

I mean, yeah. Of course I root on USA and hope with all hope that they're going to win. I cheered on these athletes:

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings. Just ask my family how invested I got into their matches. So happy they won their third gold in their third Olympics, and left undefeated.

Missy Franklin. The ridiculously talented 17 year old swimmer. She's a freakin' senior in high school and has 5 medals, four of which are gold, and has broken the world record for 200 meter backstroke. But, what's great about her isn't just her incredible talent. It's her perpetual smile, her positive attitude, and her sweet love for her teammates AND her opponents. 

Michael Phelps. I mean, obviously. The guy is a beast. He's part fish. He has 22 Olympic medals. 18 being gold. I half expect him to show up in Rio in four years and win like 6 more medals, just so it's impossible for anyone to ever beat his record. 

Aly Raisman. I felt like she got gypped out of a medal for the all-around. But then, she got the medals she deserved. What I admire about her was her determination. And every time I heard people talking about her, they went on about her reliability, her steadiness. And she truly cared about her teammates, and also her opponents. 

The Fab 5. I didn't actually see this event. But I heard about it. And, once again, the thing that amazes me about these girls is the support they have for one another. It's fantastic that they were able to win the gold! Doing great things for themselves and for the United States. But also staying true to themselves and their teammates. 

But, it wasn't just the USA I was proud of and rooting for. I was rooting for the greatness that all athletes were showing, and not just in the medals they were winning.

Jessica Ennis. Seriously. This woman. She astounds me. She won gold for Great Britain in the Heptathlon for track. The only one I saw her compete in was the 800 meter. It was the last event for the heptathlon, so she - and the other athletes - had done 6 other events that day. They were exhausted. She was in the running for the gold. In fact, the person who was in place for silver at that point would have to beat her by 12 seconds in the 800 in order to beat her out for gold. She was pretty much assured a medal. One the race started, she quickly took the lead, and very easily kept it. the one in the running for silver was in the back of the group. Ennis was practically given a gold medal before the race was finished. But then. The last curve and last straight of the race, she started booking it. She sprinted like her life depended on it. She was exhausted, mind you. Remember, she had done 6 other events. But she pushed herself. To be the very best she could be. The crowd roared as she pulled ahead of the group and won the race with a ridiculous lead. She ran that race, not for herself, not for winning the gold, but for her country, for the people of Great Britain. THAT'S what the Olympics is about, my friends. She ran her best to the very end. She persevered, endured to the end, and did her utmost and very best. She had the gold in the bag halfway through the race, yet she pushed herself, because she was running for her country. I don't care that she's from Great Britain. I was cheering her on. She astounded me. I'm not going to lie. I would love to meet her. To walk up to her, shake her hand, and say, "Thank you for reminding me what the Olympics is about. You were fantastic."

I actually have no clue about this woman. But, she was form Saudi Arabia. This Olympics was the first time women were allowed to compete from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and I think a few other countries. That is just...amazing. Did you know that every participating country had women competing this Olympics? That's the first time that has happened. That is such a wonderful breakthrough! This is also what the Olympics is about.

Oscar Pistorius. The first double amputee to compete in the Olympics. I don't think he actually won any medals. But it is amazing that he was able to compete. His courage and determination to make it to the Olympics. This is also what the Olympics is about.

Kirani James. He won gold in the men's 400 meter. He won the first gold medal for his country, Grenado. How fantastic is that? At 19 years old, he made history for his country. They did a little segment on him. Even at just 19 years old, he's become something like an ambassador for his country. He's bringing his country money, he's helping the people there. He's making a difference for his small country, and he's doing it with such grace and love. After he won the 400, he traded his name bib thingy with Oscar Pistorius who ran it with him, but got last place. What a wonderful gesture! Oscar may have gotten last place, yet Kirani showed that it didn't matter, because Oscar left his mark and was truly great. This is also what the Olympics is all about.

I know this is incredibly long. If you have read all the way through, way to be a trooper! You deserve a cookie. But don't expect one from me...I love the Olympics. They have taught me a lot this time around. The greatness that is shown by mankind at these games is...I just don't have words for it. Often times, we look at the world and see the doom and gloom, the evil and the destruction, and I think we often see men as horrible, evil , and think that it seems hopeless for us. But then I look at the athletes of these games. Yeah, you have the ones that cheat, who are rude, and do not have the spirit of the Games. But you also have the  Missy Franklins, the Jessica Ennis's, and the Kirani James's of the world. There is goodness. There is greatness. There is love. Even while competing, these people and many others have proved this to be true. I'm proud of the Olympic athletes of 2012. 

I hope you enjoyed the Olympics as much as me! I can't wait for the winter games in two years. Hopefully they will be just as great.

One Year

Well folks, it's June 13th. Do you know what that means for me? It means I have lived in Flagstaff for one year. A year ago today, I left Mesa with all my stuff, and moved into my apartment in the Meadows. It's been an interesting year. A lot of learning. A lot of growing up. A lot of...becoming. Becoming more Beth-ish. Discovering more about myself and who I am - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have discovered some amazing things about myself. But I also have come to realize many of my faults and weaknesses, and it's a constant battle against them.

In this past year I've:
*Held hands with a boy for the first time (don't judge...I'm a slow mover and pretty much stayed away from relationships in high school.)
*Learned what it means to do something hard, something that hurts you a bit, because you care about the other person more than yourself.
*Payed all my bills pretty much without assistance from my parents.
*Survived living with 4 roommates, and have in fact enjoyed it greatly.
*Taken a class that I really didn't care about and decided that it wasn't worth killing myself over, thus earning myself my second B in the history of my educational career.
*Had me testimony strengthen on tithing and fast offerings.
*Learned how important it is to fully rely on the Lord.
*Learned why it is I am here in Flagstaff.
*Made friends with people who I can now never imagine my life without. Friends who quickly became a vital part of my survival up here, physically, spiritually, and mentally. (By physically, I mostly mean by feeding me.) Friends who are now some of my best friends ever. And who I will make an effort to stay in contact with for the rest of my life, even to the point of quite possibly annoying them.
*Finished my first year of college. With a 3.9 GPA.
*Taught lessons in Relief Society - which is an AMAZING calling. I love it.
*Seen miracles.
*Drifted from my Heavenly Father
*Grown closer to my Heavenly Father, after drifting.
*Come to understand the connection between scripture study and my happiness -I am happier when I study my scriptures.
*Been at my happiest, and also at my saddest.
*Despite my age, and how little I feel I know, learned how to be an adult, and to handle my problems. I may act immature at times, but that's because that's what I do to keep from going crazy.
*Learned the importance of play. There must be a balance. I can't just keep running around being perfectly responsible. It's important to take time to play. Or to color Sesame Street coloring books. Or to be with your friends and laugh yourself silly.

This has been a fantastic year. My first week up here, I wasn't so sure how things were going to go. One year later, I treasure all that has happened and all that I have learned. One year down, a lifetime more to go!