Sunday, April 17, 2011

Who says miracles never happen?

These past few weeks have been...interesting. About three weeks ago, I was having a really hard time. Why, I really don't know. I was just super stressed, having bad days, and just couldn't seem to handle anything - you know those times. For the past few months, the company my daddy had been working for was going through some changes. I won't get into the details, but, let's just say, there were going to be some mechanics let go. I was perfectly confident my dad would keep his job. I said, "Pff" to any thought or any doubt. But, then, during that super hard time, I got home from school. It was kind of a really crappy day. Not even a minute after being home my brother tells me, "Dad lost his job. Friday is his last day at work." My mind was blown. And a crappy day just got worse.

I began stressing out. I began fearing the worst - I can be a pessimist, when it comes to things like this. That first week, I didn't know what to do. I was lucky enough to have awesome friends that kept me from having panic attacks every hour. Then, blessing number one: it turned out my dad would get to work another week.

Gradually, my fears started fading. I worried less - well, about my dad. my worries of school were definitely still there. Then, the next week came around - this last week. It was like my dad not working wasn't a reality for me. It was strange. It just seemed all normal, until I'd get home from school, and my dad was there watching TV or something, instead of being at work. But, I knew everything was going to be ok. Blessing number two. It's not like I didn't know it before, but I was just worried more. I don't really know what happened. I attribute it to the prayers said in behalf of me and my family. I was able to focus less on my dad not having a job, and focus more on school.

Then, Thursday came around. Blessing number three: My dad had an interview. Blessing number four: Friday, my dad had another interview. I come home Friday after school, and BAM. Miracle: My daddy has a job. He starts Monday.

Blessing number five: In fact, with my daddy losing his job, we come out ahead. He gets a severance check, because half the company was being sold, which was why he lost his job. So, we get extra money. We get to pay off stuff. My daddy's pay is less, but he has to drive less, which equals saving money.

No one can tell me that miracles do not happen anymore. Because I have witnessed one. I am so incredibly grateful for what has happened. Things could have been WAY worse. My mom is a teacher, so yes, there'd be money - but then it'd be summer time, and, yes, mom gets a wee bit of money during the summer, but it would get super tough.

Honestly, this past week - the week that my dad actually didn't work - has been the most normal feeling one out of this whole thing. It was like my daddy not having work was no big deal, which seems strange to me, because not that long ago, it felt like the worse thing ever. There was one day this week where someone mentioned their dad being out of town for work, and I just casually said, "My dad lost his job." I didn't really think anything of it, because I was over it. I knew things were going to work out. but then my friend said, "Awkward, Beth. Don't just go around saying that!" Oops. I totally didn't realize it at all. haha

But, I feel so lucky. I don't know why my dad got a job so quick when there are others out there who have been struggling to find one for such a long time. I'm just grateful that the Lord was mindful to us and our needs, and I hope and pray that those who are in tough situations like that never lose faith. The Lord is mindful of them, too.

The Lord is in control. I'm so grateful for that knowledge. I'd be completely lost if I was out here on my own. He knows what's going on and how things should be handled. I think I'll be more careful to keep His plan for my future in mind, more than my own, now. I know He's got my back, that way! :)

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Is graduation here yet?

So, I've been saying, "Geez, people need to update their blogs!" And then I look at mine, and realize that it's been over a week since I've done a post. Oops.

But, my life is boring. Monotonous. Stressful. Nothing really exciting. I go to school. Look forward to Chamber, Psych (usually) and seminary. Go home. Do homework. Procrastinate. Do more homework. Stress. and go to bed. Repeat. Weekends are full of procrastination and being lazy. Sounds exciting, no?

This weekend was a bit different. Friday and Saturday night was the Broadway Review at Mesa High. It was pretty awesome. The seniors in choir sang Seasons of Love. We pretty much rocked it. And then all the other acts were AMAZING! Seriously. I loved going, because the talent was amazing. Plus, I sat by Holly and Kristina which equals mucho laughter.

Despite the awesomeness of the Broadway Review, I've just gotten completely and totally sick of school. I'm so ready for school to be done. I've hit the ginormous brick wall called senioritis. I have three AP tests to do. And I really only feel ready for one of them. Yet, I don't want to do any work - but I have to do keep my scholarship. I'd be ok if it weren't for the AP tests. I wish I could get college credit without the dang tests. They make me want to cry.

Graduation. Please come quickly! Just, not too quickly, because of the AP tests. Or, you know, just skip the tests. I'd be ok with that. I'm so ready to be done with high school. With the city of Mesa. With being at home and having to share the house with my 30 year old brother. (I love Michael, I really do. It's just gotten really hard to get along with him and share a house with him.) I'm ready to be on my own - well...as ready as a soon to be 18 year old can be.

Flagstaff. It's gonna be scary. I know that. Total responsibility. But, well...I don't know how to explain it. I know it'll be ok. The Lord has been guiding my path so far. He'll guide me the rest of the way, as long as I'm doing what I'm supposed to. Flagstaff is where I'm supposed to be. NAU is the school I'm meant to go to. Apartment 96 (I think that's the number?) in University Meadows, with Katie Wilson and others is where I'm meant to live. No big deal. The Lord's got this. I'm in His hands. I'll be alright. I just want life to let me go, so I can do those things.

Last, I am eternally grateful that I have been living my life the way I have been. Yes, I could be doing better, and I'm aiming to be better, but because I have been living this way, my path has crossed the paths of others, who are also living righteous lives. And those others have become incredibly important to me. Without them in my life, I would hopeless. Because I have been going down my right path, I have met others going down their right path, and I have been strengthened - and hopefully I have strengthened them. Always be aware of what path you're going down. You don't want to miss crossing paths with people who are awesomeness on a stick. That would be sad.

Yes. My life. Graduation, please come! Love, a girl who is finally ready(ish) to grow up.