Random musings

Life has been...interesting. That's prolly the best word for it. I keep meaning to do a blog post, but then I lose inspiration for it. Which is sad. Because blogging = writing, so no inspiration for writing is kinda a depressing thought. So, yeah. Now I'm just going to share randomness.

Racquetball. I need to play it more often. It brings me...I don't know if joy is the right word, but it's pretty much the only form of exercise I get. It's incredibly fun. If I'm having a bad day, it's a fabulous way to get it all out. Because, one, it physically exhausts me (instead of mentally and emotionally, like my days do) while shooting endorphins through me, so it's not a cranky tired. Two, I play with my friends, so there's usually laughter, and if I play with Christine, then there's even MORE laughter and slightly crazy antics.

Boys. I just...yeah. That's all I have to say about that.You can interpret it how you wish.

Spanish. I have a love-hate relationship with it. It stresses me out SO much! My grade in that class is so iffy. Half the time I don't understand what's going on, and the other half of the time the person who sits next to me doesn't pay attention, which, since I have Spanish at 8:00 in the morning, ticks me off slightly more than it probably should. I'm attempting at speaking in Spanish more...but lets face it. If it's not about food, it's kinda difficult. But, Friday, I totally used the subjunctive when I was practicing with someone I work with. First time I have ever used the subjunctive outside of class. I felt awesome. Also, I like to complain to Christine how much I hate Spanish (even though I don't actually hate it. That much.) because she has this weird obsession and love for it, so her reaction often makes me smile. Shhh...don't tell her...


Heavenly Father is a pretty incredibly guy. Did you know He, quite literally, created our brain so that living the Gospel will make us happy? There's been resent studies that show that things like service, gratitude, and other small things like that, help reinforce a certain way of thinking - a positive way of thinking - in a very natural way. And that certain way of thinking is more positive, is happier. It's so brilliant!

Sometimes, I don't understand some of the things Heavenly Father is trying to teach me. I had an experience last Sunday that really frustrated me, because I felt He was trying to tell me something, but I just wasn't getting it. But, I've also had a recent experience in which I caught a glimpse of His reasoning for certain things I'm experiencing. He's got a plan, and He's preparing me.

Pity. I have this awful habit of, when I'm feeling discouraged or down on myself, I start to pity myself. And it doesn't get me anywhere, because I get so wrapped up in, "My life is so awful, my life is so hard, why did this happen to me," and some thing else about me, myself, and I. And then I suck other people into it, trying to get them to pity me, complaining to them. I get stuck in the pity pit. It's a pit I get stuck in a lot.

I love psychology. And, I know that this is what I'm supposed to be studying. There was a fireside last Sunday, and there was a slideshow shown of a whole bunch of pictures. Many of the pictures were of downtrodden, hopeless, distressed, sad people. And I just had the very strong feeling and impressing that THIS is why I'm doing what I'm doing. So I can help people like this be happy, to have joy - and to find it in the Gospel and in Christ. This is why I'm here in Flagstaff, going to NAU. Because Heavenly Father sees that, somehow, this is the best place for me to learn to do just that - and learn many other things.

It's been 10 months and 9 days since I've moved up to Flagstaff. It's been an...eventful 10 months. And I wouldn't trade them for the world. So much growing has happened. Sometimes I start thinking about how I'm in college, living on my own, depending on myself for financial stuff, and stuff like that, and I freak myself out a bit. I don't think I will ever feel old enough for where I am in life. I remember last year, as a senior in high school and I would have random moments of feeling weird that I was old enough to be in high school. But...that's life.

I have a phone date with Lanelle on Tuesday. I'm excited. I lurve that girly with all my heart!

So...random musings are over. Life is fantastic, for the most part. Full of stress, but that's nothing new. Full of wonderful friends who love me and support me. Full of blessings from Heavenly Father. Just fantastic.

My friend.

Today is Easter Sunday. One of my favorite Sundays. I try to center my life on Christ. I try to live like Him every day. But, I am not perfect. And often times I fail. Quite epically. And get discouraged and frustrated with myself. But, then Easter comes around, and I'm given new energy. Because I'm reminded that what Christ did was to give us more than one chance. It was to give us the opportunity to change. And, unfortunately, change is a very long, difficult, and often painful process. But, with Christ, it may be long, but not as long as it would be without Him; difficult, but it's much easier with His help; painful, but He is the Balm of Gilead that can soothe any pain we feel. Easter time, I feel renewed. Invigorated. And each Easter, I start to remember Christ even more than the year before. And by remembering, it's easier to do - to act more like He would.

This Friday, I took a day-trip (more like half a day-trip) down to Mesa in order to watch the Easter Pageant. Man. I love it. Each time I watch it, I'm filled with the Spirit. I'm filled with a great joy and hope and peace. There a few scenes I want to mention.

One is a scene that I always look forward too. It's pretty much my favorite scene ever. Christ is with the little children. Blessing them, healing them, being with them. And there's this little boy with a crutch. He doesn't walk very well, or very quickly. In fact, it's almost painful to watch. He slowly makes his way to Christ, but there's other children in the way, and it seems that Christ doesn't notice him. But, then Christ looks and him and beckons to him. As the boy makes his way towards Christ in his very slow, painful manner, he drops his crutch halfway through, and then runs into Christ's arms. It's always a very powerful moment for me. And I had a thought Friday as I watched it - I've possibly had the thought before, but I don't remember because I didn't write it down. Sometimes this life is hard, discouraging. Our progress is slow and is almost painful. But, then Christ is there, beckoning to us. As we keep Him in sight, and we focus on Him and try to answer His beckon, we can throw down whatever crutch we may have and sprint into His arms. The pain will be healed.

Another scene is, again, with the little children. Christ is with them. And then they sing a song. In it, they repeat the words, "My Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend." I often mention how Christ is my best friend ever because of what He did for me. But, to hear it from the mouths of children, and it became even more powerful to me. Christ took the time to be with the little children. To play with them, to talk with them, to teach them. I wonder how the apostles and disciples saw Him. Because He spent so much time with them, teaching. But did they see Him in the simplicity that the little children saw Him. I'm sure He talked about more than the Gospel with the adults. I'm sure He did things with them more than just teach. He was their friend. He gave comfort. He made them smile and laugh. Everything our friends do for us.

Christ is our friend. We only have to see Him like it. Think about it. He's given us so much. He gives us comfort. He lifts us up. I think of my close friends. Katie Alston. Bradley. McKenna. Christine. Lanelle. Why do I love them so much and cling to their friendship? They make me laugh. They bring me joy when I'm in the dark. They serve me, they comfort me, they love me. And, I see Christ in them, in their love and their actions. If I see Christ in them, then wouldn't He do many of the things that they do in our friendship that I treasure? In fact, I know He sent me those people to me, to help me. So they could be my friends and act as He would.

It is Easter. A day to remember. To remember how the greatest man who ever walked the earth lived his life. He lived for us. He suffered for us. He died for us. But, now, he lives for us. He is our hope. He has given us a way to repent. A way to change. A way to return back to Him and Heavenly Father.

I cannot wait for the day when I am in His presence again. Hopefully I will be worthy and have lived my life in a way that He will be proud of.

I feel I will greet Him in a similar manner as this man. I will want to do nothing else but to wrap my arms around Him. He, who suffered and died for me. He who understands everything I go through because He went through them Himself. He, who is my Savior. My Redeemer. My friend.