Sometimes...

Sometimes it's frustrating...

•  When things pile up in my life and I thought I had finally started handling things well.
• When life seems to perfect one day and then the next day I feel like I'm going to explode from the tension inside of me.
• When teachers give out silly assignments and then don't get back to me when I have a question.
• When I try my hardest to fit the things in my life that I need to - like scripture study - and even when I do, things seem to be harder than most times I've experienced.
• When I'm so exhausted no matter what I do, and I have zero time for even a five minute nap so I feel like I'm going to collapse.
• When I know I'm being obnoxious because I'm tired and stressed but I can't seem to find the self-control inside of me to stop.
• When I can feel myself regressing, but I'm too tired to try to stop myself.
• When I'm not only tired physically,  but also mentally, emotionally...maybe even spiritually...

BUT!! Sometimes, I realized how blessed I am, how much I have to be grateful for, how much I know this is where I'm meant to be...

• When I have roommates who will do the dishes on my day to do them
• When my roommates put up with me being in my ridiculous, crazy, annoying, I-need-to-sleep-for-an-entire-day moods
• When my roommates laugh at me or sympathize when I complain instead of rolling their eyes because it's annoying how much I complain.
• When my roommates have made me dinner (and didn't eat it...) on a Wednesday, the day I have a class that lasts until 8 at night. 
• When Mike still wants to spend time with me, even when I'm being obnoxious and slightly annoying from stress and lack of sleep.
• When I don't have to do my part check for choir on Wednesday, and get to do it on Friday.
• When I ask Erika to change my password on Facebook after a really bad day, because I need to learn to time-manage, so she does it, but will let me on occasionally.
• When Yolie, my boss, offers me a new job in the new department she and someone else is setting up on campus, and it's a job that fits me even better than the one I have now.
• When I have friends who support me when I am feeling my lowest.
• When I have friends who will listen to me, whether it's venting or just needing someone to talk to.
• When I have friends who urge me to do my best and to be my best.
• When I know my friends care about me and are trying to help me.
• When I go to choir feeling like crap, but then we sing a certain song so that I can't help but smile and feel good inside.
• When I sing in the adult session of stake conference in the institute choir, and I feel the spirit so incredibly strong.
• Heck, when I get to sing in the institute choir!
• When I say a prayer asking for help with something, and I'm able to recognize the help the Lord is giving me.

Sometimes...we have trials in our lives. Trials are not meant to be easy. This particular one is definitely testing EVERYTHING. My endurance. My strength. My patience. My faith. But, the Lord constantly sends help my way. He never leaves me alone, no matter how discouraged I get or how dark things feel. He sends me little moments, little tender mercies that allow me to see the light, thought sometimes I don't realize it until after it passes.

Sometimes...things are hard. Things end up being very different that what you expected. But the Lord has a plan.

Sometimes it's hard to keep perspective when you're in the midst of a trial. I think that's why the Lord will give me little respites, so I can remember all that He's given me.

Life has gotten hard for me. But I can't help but see how blessed I am. Sometimes...I just need little reminders.