Family

Something that was mentioned in church yesterday - I think it was Relief Society - got me thinking about family.

My actual family is...amazing. We all suck at communicating, so often times we don't know what's going on in each others' lives. Or, we think good communication is when we get together and poke fun at one another. In fact, the family member that I'm closest to other than Amy and Stephen is my sister in law, Leigh. I'm not even related to her by blood! But, that's how it goes. Not being in close proximity to them, besides Amy and Stephen (I'm SO grateful they are up here!) has made me appreciate each of them more than I did before. I miss them lots.

But...my family is so much more than the people that I'm actually related to. I have two choir families from Mesa High - A Cappella and Chamber. I miss those people so, so, so, so, so incredibly much. (Side note: I miss lots of people...but not in the same way that I did when I first got up here. It's not crippling anymore. It's just one of those things in the back of my mind that I start thinking about when I have time.) They all mean so much to me. Basically, I would do anything in my power to help them with anything they needed.

My ward/stake family back in Mesa. Lots of fond memories with the kids my age, those younger than me in Young Women, and the awesome leaders. They helped strengthen me a lot.

There's my ward family here. I seriously LOVE my ward. There's so many incredible people. I learn so much in sacrament meeting, Sunday School, and Relief Society. I'm grateful to be in this ward.

Then there's my roommates. Awesomeness on a stick. Or sticks, I guess. My family here in Flagstaff. I couldn't ask for better roommates. They put up with me...sometimes better than my actual family...haha. I was really nervous about having roommates at first, but the bond that I've made with each of them makes me feel foolish for having worries at all. It's always happy time in my apartment when all 5 of us are in the apartment together. There's so much service that goes on, so much love, laughter, craziness...just absolutely amazingness. Basically, I love us.

But...there's also another family member out there. He doesn't have much love for us. He is Satan. I don't know why it struck me so strong yesterday, but the teacher said that Satan is our brother. His greatest desire is to make us miserable for eternity. To have dominion over us. It just got me thinking. I have this great big family - by blood or not - so am I treated the people within it right? Or am I making them miserable with selfishness? Family is incredibly important, no matter what kind of family. I should think a little bit (or a lot) less of myself and more of those around me, those that I love. Am I expressing that love? Am I showing that I care for them? I don't want to be like Satan...I don't want to be the one that stabs everyone that cares about me in the heart. I'm sure Satan used to love us. He just grew to love himself more. Does he still love us? But his jealously and bitterness simply overwhelms that love?

Sometimes I feel bad for him, no matter how difficult he likes to make life sometimes. He's forgotten the joy of loving others, and that caring about others and their needs instead of tearing them down is so much more freeing than any power you could ever gain. Thinking about others instead of yourself lifts you up instead of making your miserable - because thinking about yourself WILL make you miserable. You'll either start to pity yourself or thinking you're better than you really are.

Think about your family - all of them. What do they mean to you? I...simply can't imagine doing what Satan has done, and is doing to us, people who he perhaps once loved and love him back. But, I guess there's a fear...that maybe I do sometimes make others' lives miserable. Sometimes,maybe, I'm too selfish and I think of my desires before anything else. Maybe instead of lifting them up, I somehow tear them down without even knowing. I don't want to do that. I don't want to be like Satan...I want to be good. I want to love, and show that love. I want to be a sister like Christ is a brother to us. Definitely a new thing to work on.