Wednesday, December 14, 2011

The sweet taste of freedom

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This is how I feel right now. For reals. I have turned in my final assignment. I have taken my last final. I am now officially done with my first semester of college. I have somehow managed to survive. And it is such a wonderful feeling! I'm so glad it's over. I seriously am in the need of a hardcore break. I may sound like a baby, but this semester took a lot out of me. And I'm seriously considering my sanity in taking 7 more semesters, plus grad school for a Masters. And possibly a Doctorate.

Within these few days, I've had so many tender mercies from the Lord. For example: my computer likes to delete parts of files. This makes for an angry/frustrated/ready-to-breakdown Beth when she is trying to get an assignment done, and she opens up a file, expecting there to be just as much as when I last saved, instead of having it half gone. It happened last night. I finished it, which frustration. I left all my programs open, and put my computer on hibernate, because then they stay up. I turned my computer on this morning. They were closed. With that file over half gone, and another file completely empty. No words to describe the bajillion feelings rolling around in me. Then, a wonderful soul, Cory, comes over and somehow retrieves the files. Joy! Bliss! Sweet relief!

Another tender mercy: having a fabulous visiting teacher, Christine Posvistak. Seriously. She visit taught me Monday. After giving the lesson, we just talked for about half an hour. For those of you who know me well (is there anyone who reads this who doesn't know me well...?) know that often times I'm not much of a talker - but I can be if you, one find me in the right mood and two somehow spark something that gets me talking. You just have to somehow get me talking, and then it can be kinda hard to get me to stop...sometimes...Anyways. It was a nice break. and it was uplifting. Something needed with all the stress of finals and nonsense like that. Then, last night when the whole file partially disappearing happened I was not happy. When I'm not happy, I try to think of happy thoughts - which is often difficult for me to do on my own. Literally the only thing I could think of was being visit taught, so I sent her a text thanking her for it, and then she called me to see how I was doing. I was feeling happier and less stressed when she called, but it still made me happy. It just brightened my night to know that she cared. She's only the best visiting teacher ever. Yeah. Be jealous.

Also. Holly Dixon. I always ask her for happy thoughts when I'm too low to think of my own. Joshua Giraffe by Raffi - go look it up. Right now. So. Random. And hilarious. Holly almost always puts a smile on my face when I need it most. She helped turn my night around.

Life is great right now. I'm happy. I'm free! no worries for about threeish weeks! I leave for Mesa tomorrow. I'll get to spend my whole winter break chilling with my family and friends. I'm so relieved to be done! I have survived my first semester of college. I have survived my first 6 months living on my own, living on my own paycheck, going out of my comfort zone a bit, living with girls I had never met before (I have this fear of people thinking I'm crazy, obnoxious, annoying, and a punk. So living with people I've never met before was super intimidating for me.) This semester has proven to me that I, indeed, can do hard things. And now I have the chance to relax. I'm going to read like a fool. So. Many. Books. I've been going through withdrawal.

I am happy. The end. :)

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