2012 Olympics

For the first few days of the Olympics I was in Flagstaff. With work and no TV. Not able to watch the Olympics. It was causing me great distress. I mean, the Olympics only happen once every two years. And the summer Olympics happen only once every fours years. That means I have very little opportunity to watch volleyball matches played by Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh - and getting to see them win their third gold medal, finishing up their third Olympics undefeated! You know. Those great athletes and great events like that! But, luckily, I came down to Mesa for the majority of the Olympic Games, so I've been able to get my fill.

I've loved watching the Olympics. My determination to watch as many events as possible made me a little bit lazy. But, what impressed me this time around - maybe it's the fact that I actually had time to watch the events, and the fact that I'm older and slightly more mature than I was in the past - wasn't necessarily the athlete's skill and the number of medals won. It was the love they had. Love for their country, their teammates, and even those they competed against. To see people from other countries go straight to the gold medal winner and give them a great big hug, or give compliments, was fantastic. To see an athlete win gold, and then immediately run to their coach, because of their gratitude for the help and support they've given. To see medal winners, when interviewed, say, "I'm just so grateful for this opportunity." "I've been so very blessed." To see them attribute their success not only on their own hard work, but their coach, their family and friends, even God. You see, the Olympics isn't just about winning.

I mean, yeah. Of course I root on USA and hope with all hope that they're going to win. I cheered on these athletes:

Misty May-Treanor and Kerri Walsh Jennings. Just ask my family how invested I got into their matches. So happy they won their third gold in their third Olympics, and left undefeated.

Missy Franklin. The ridiculously talented 17 year old swimmer. She's a freakin' senior in high school and has 5 medals, four of which are gold, and has broken the world record for 200 meter backstroke. But, what's great about her isn't just her incredible talent. It's her perpetual smile, her positive attitude, and her sweet love for her teammates AND her opponents. 

Michael Phelps. I mean, obviously. The guy is a beast. He's part fish. He has 22 Olympic medals. 18 being gold. I half expect him to show up in Rio in four years and win like 6 more medals, just so it's impossible for anyone to ever beat his record. 

Aly Raisman. I felt like she got gypped out of a medal for the all-around. But then, she got the medals she deserved. What I admire about her was her determination. And every time I heard people talking about her, they went on about her reliability, her steadiness. And she truly cared about her teammates, and also her opponents. 

The Fab 5. I didn't actually see this event. But I heard about it. And, once again, the thing that amazes me about these girls is the support they have for one another. It's fantastic that they were able to win the gold! Doing great things for themselves and for the United States. But also staying true to themselves and their teammates. 

But, it wasn't just the USA I was proud of and rooting for. I was rooting for the greatness that all athletes were showing, and not just in the medals they were winning.

Jessica Ennis. Seriously. This woman. She astounds me. She won gold for Great Britain in the Heptathlon for track. The only one I saw her compete in was the 800 meter. It was the last event for the heptathlon, so she - and the other athletes - had done 6 other events that day. They were exhausted. She was in the running for the gold. In fact, the person who was in place for silver at that point would have to beat her by 12 seconds in the 800 in order to beat her out for gold. She was pretty much assured a medal. One the race started, she quickly took the lead, and very easily kept it. the one in the running for silver was in the back of the group. Ennis was practically given a gold medal before the race was finished. But then. The last curve and last straight of the race, she started booking it. She sprinted like her life depended on it. She was exhausted, mind you. Remember, she had done 6 other events. But she pushed herself. To be the very best she could be. The crowd roared as she pulled ahead of the group and won the race with a ridiculous lead. She ran that race, not for herself, not for winning the gold, but for her country, for the people of Great Britain. THAT'S what the Olympics is about, my friends. She ran her best to the very end. She persevered, endured to the end, and did her utmost and very best. She had the gold in the bag halfway through the race, yet she pushed herself, because she was running for her country. I don't care that she's from Great Britain. I was cheering her on. She astounded me. I'm not going to lie. I would love to meet her. To walk up to her, shake her hand, and say, "Thank you for reminding me what the Olympics is about. You were fantastic."

I actually have no clue about this woman. But, she was form Saudi Arabia. This Olympics was the first time women were allowed to compete from Saudi Arabia, Qatar, and I think a few other countries. That is just...amazing. Did you know that every participating country had women competing this Olympics? That's the first time that has happened. That is such a wonderful breakthrough! This is also what the Olympics is about.

Oscar Pistorius. The first double amputee to compete in the Olympics. I don't think he actually won any medals. But it is amazing that he was able to compete. His courage and determination to make it to the Olympics. This is also what the Olympics is about.

Kirani James. He won gold in the men's 400 meter. He won the first gold medal for his country, Grenado. How fantastic is that? At 19 years old, he made history for his country. They did a little segment on him. Even at just 19 years old, he's become something like an ambassador for his country. He's bringing his country money, he's helping the people there. He's making a difference for his small country, and he's doing it with such grace and love. After he won the 400, he traded his name bib thingy with Oscar Pistorius who ran it with him, but got last place. What a wonderful gesture! Oscar may have gotten last place, yet Kirani showed that it didn't matter, because Oscar left his mark and was truly great. This is also what the Olympics is all about.

I know this is incredibly long. If you have read all the way through, way to be a trooper! You deserve a cookie. But don't expect one from me...I love the Olympics. They have taught me a lot this time around. The greatness that is shown by mankind at these games is...I just don't have words for it. Often times, we look at the world and see the doom and gloom, the evil and the destruction, and I think we often see men as horrible, evil , and think that it seems hopeless for us. But then I look at the athletes of these games. Yeah, you have the ones that cheat, who are rude, and do not have the spirit of the Games. But you also have the  Missy Franklins, the Jessica Ennis's, and the Kirani James's of the world. There is goodness. There is greatness. There is love. Even while competing, these people and many others have proved this to be true. I'm proud of the Olympic athletes of 2012. 

I hope you enjoyed the Olympics as much as me! I can't wait for the winter games in two years. Hopefully they will be just as great.

One Year

Well folks, it's June 13th. Do you know what that means for me? It means I have lived in Flagstaff for one year. A year ago today, I left Mesa with all my stuff, and moved into my apartment in the Meadows. It's been an interesting year. A lot of learning. A lot of growing up. A lot of...becoming. Becoming more Beth-ish. Discovering more about myself and who I am - the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have discovered some amazing things about myself. But I also have come to realize many of my faults and weaknesses, and it's a constant battle against them.

In this past year I've:
*Held hands with a boy for the first time (don't judge...I'm a slow mover and pretty much stayed away from relationships in high school.)
*Learned what it means to do something hard, something that hurts you a bit, because you care about the other person more than yourself.
*Payed all my bills pretty much without assistance from my parents.
*Survived living with 4 roommates, and have in fact enjoyed it greatly.
*Taken a class that I really didn't care about and decided that it wasn't worth killing myself over, thus earning myself my second B in the history of my educational career.
*Had me testimony strengthen on tithing and fast offerings.
*Learned how important it is to fully rely on the Lord.
*Learned why it is I am here in Flagstaff.
*Made friends with people who I can now never imagine my life without. Friends who quickly became a vital part of my survival up here, physically, spiritually, and mentally. (By physically, I mostly mean by feeding me.) Friends who are now some of my best friends ever. And who I will make an effort to stay in contact with for the rest of my life, even to the point of quite possibly annoying them.
*Finished my first year of college. With a 3.9 GPA.
*Taught lessons in Relief Society - which is an AMAZING calling. I love it.
*Seen miracles.
*Drifted from my Heavenly Father
*Grown closer to my Heavenly Father, after drifting.
*Come to understand the connection between scripture study and my happiness -I am happier when I study my scriptures.
*Been at my happiest, and also at my saddest.
*Despite my age, and how little I feel I know, learned how to be an adult, and to handle my problems. I may act immature at times, but that's because that's what I do to keep from going crazy.
*Learned the importance of play. There must be a balance. I can't just keep running around being perfectly responsible. It's important to take time to play. Or to color Sesame Street coloring books. Or to be with your friends and laugh yourself silly.

This has been a fantastic year. My first week up here, I wasn't so sure how things were going to go. One year later, I treasure all that has happened and all that I have learned. One year down, a lifetime more to go!

Live like you're dying

On Friday, while I was on my way down to Mesa, this song came on. (My sister has several CD mixes that we listen to while we're on our way down. This is on one of my two favorite mixes.) This song always makes me stop and think. And this time, it struck me more than it usually does.

Throughout the song the phrase, "We gotta live like we're dying" is repeated. Well, what does that mean? In the song, it talks about love - what you do with it, how you express it. Live like you're dying. So...love like you're dying? I think part of the reason why it struck me so strong this time, was because I had been kinda a brat last week. I'm always sarcastic, but the things I had been saying weren't quite as...light-hearted as they usually were. And I hadn't been thinking very nice things about a few people. I hadn't been expressing my love for others.

Live like you're dying. how do you express and show your love for others? It's something I've always been really bad at. I always use the excuse that I'm really bad at expressing my feelings - especially when they're strong feelings. But that's a pansy way out. Because if I love as much as I say I do, then it doesn't matter if it's hard, I'll make that effort.

Right when I came to the conclusion that I needed to love more, I picked up my phone and texted one of my friends, telling her that I love her. I don't know how many of you know what I big deal saying "I love you" is for me. Even if I've said it to you dozens of times before, if I say it to you - if I even just put it in writing - it means a lot. It's not a phrase that I used a lot after I was like 4 years old. In fact, it's only been like...4 years since I've actually started saying it again. I need to say it more, because there's many people I do love, and they should know it. And I should say it more to the people I do tell.

I also need to work on showing my love. Friday night and Saturday afternoon, I offered to help with my sister's baby shower. Friday night, I should have gone to bed much earlier than I did. Saturday, I was running on 4 hours of sleep - and had played racquetball that morning, so I was even more tired - and Beth get's cranky and cranky when she doesn't sleep. But, I did everything I was asked to do. This was time that I could have spent with friends that I never get to see - which would have been time well spent. But, instead, I chose to spend time with my family, helping them out. And I did it because I wanted to show my love for my family.

Live like you're dying. What do YOU do? I know I can do a whole lot more.
"You never know a good thing till it's gone.
You never see a crash till it's head on.
Why do we think we're right when we're dead wrong?
You never know a good thing till it's gone."
Don't miss your chance to let people know that you love them. Don't let people leave your life without knowing just how much you care for them. Don't waste an opportunity of telling people just how important they are. Don't let a moment waste. Tell people that you love them - and mean it!





Randomness: This song. I wish this was how the world thought. "It's not about the money. We don't need your money. We just want to make the world dance, forget about the price tag....we're paying in love tonight." Seriously. Why does the world revolve around money. Also. This girl. I have no clue how I feel about her. I don't know if I should love her or think she's annoying. I would have shown the original, but Jessie J's outfits kinda made me want to barf. And the video was just weird. The end.

Conclusions

I have said good bye, once again, to someone I have come to love dearly. It made me do some thinking. And I have come to a few conclusions - and some are re-conclusions. You know, concluding something you have already concluded because you remembered why you came to that conclusion in the first place.

Conclusion #1: Seeing people go is harder than being the person to go. Last year, it was hard to leave, but I knew I was going where I was supposed to go, and that this was MY choice. But, seeing others go - even when I know it's what they're supposed to be doing - is SO much harder. Because it has nothing to do with my choice and my decision. Also, the fact that where they're supposed to be is not where I'm supposed to be just makes me sad, and also makes me wonder why Heavenly Father puts people in my path to because such an important part of my life when He soon needs them in a different place. Seeing Christine go yesterday was hard. Let me tell you, I'm going to miss that girl so much. But, I was determined to be happy that she was happy that she was going back home. So, I WAS - am - happy that she's happy. It just doesn't make me any happier to have seen her go. And then today, I said goodbye to Kathleen. I didn't have anything to do this morning before work so I was just kinda sitting there dinking around, watching her pack all of her stuff up. I think that made it worse. And the fact that when I left for work, I was leaving before she was leaving somehow made it harder inside my head. Yeah...I didn't cry when Christine left. Totally cried when I said goodbye to Kathleen. Lame.

Conclusion #2: Missing people is good. Being missed is good. Why? Because it means that you have built strong relationships. It means you have loved and that you have been loved. If you miss someone, then it means that they have impacted your life. They meant something to you and obviously did something good for your life. If you're missed, then that means that you did something for others, that you impacted lives and made a difference. It can be sad and it can be painful, but those feelings of missing others simply means that you love. And so, you should never regret those feelings because you should never regret love.

Conclusion #3: I. Love. Letters. And I'm excited to actually have time to write them. In fact, after I finish this blogpost, that is exactly what I'm going to do. And I hope people are good at writing back. Because, seriously. Getting letters in the mail is the BEST. Every time I get one I do a little happy dance. I sometimes give a little scream from excitement. (Beth doesn't scream.)

Conclusion #4: I love Flagstaff. I love the weather. I love the cool breezes, the pretty scenery. I love needing to wear a light jacket in the middle of the summer, compared to wanting to rip all of my clothes off because I feel like I'm dying from the heat, like how I often feel in Mesa during the summer. And, above all, I love the people here. Even when many are leaving, there are still several who are remaining. Flagstaff has the best quality of people. I love it here in Flag. If I didn't, you would find me back in Mesa, mooching off my parents, not paying rent, not buying food, going to ASU, and just hanging out with old friends. Truthfully...that actually doesn't appeal to me. I mean, yeah, hanging out with old friends would be AWESOME. And not paying bills, fantastic! But, where's the growth, the learning, the stretching, the becoming a better person? It would be much harder for me to do that in that sort of environment. Some people can, Beth can't. When Beth is around familiar and comfortable, she makes no effort to change and to grow. Hm...maybe that's why Heavenly Father puts people in my path only to have them move away afterwards. He's doing it so I'll stretch myself. I'll make new friends, but then I'll also make the effort to stay in contact with the old friends. (Beth has a hard time with that.) He's seeing what I'm willing to do for my love for people and with my love for people. He's seeing if He can trust me with these fantastic people, so that they don't waste their time being with me. (That was conclusion #5. That I may have JUST come to the conclusion of.)

So. Yes. This is why I like to just think sometimes. And then write what I think - because writing clarifies things and sometimes brings more things into focus. The end.

It's the end.

About a year ago, I started preparing for graduation. I started packing up my things (psh. actually, I starting THINKING about packing up my things. I only started packing about two days before I left. Professional procrastinator, right here.)  And, I started reflecting. Reflecting on the past year. I started thinking about the friendships I had made and the impact my friends made on my life. I did a lot of growing up my senior year of high school, and my friends helped me with that. So, as I was thinking about all that, this poem came into being - it was mostly about Chamber.

Future
 

I’m leaving to catch my future

But where does that leave you?

Is there a place in my future

For you too?

I’m switching homes,

I’m switching schools,

I’m switching cities,

But where does that leave you?

How does one switch a friend?

A memory?

A song?!

You just cannot replace those things –

No switching allowed at all!

I remember the days

When I was most down,

Hard on myself,

Overwhelmed, stressed

No smile on my face,

Angry, depressed.

Those all went away

When you were around.

I have you to thank

For my sanity now!

I have to go catch my future,

But where does that leave you?

With you I smiled, I laughed,

Got many cases of the giggles,

Was silly, sarcastic,

Even cried a bit too.

You have helped me so much

And I hope I’ve helped you.

My future’s catching up to me –

Oh what am I to do?

When my future’s here,

And you are not,

What is one to do?

When I am there,

And you are not –

Where does that leave you?

Without me here

Without you there

And no help in between?

Who knows when

I will see you next?

Oh what am I to do?

My future’s nearly here, you see,

The next step of my life.

And with me gone

And with you not

How different life will be!

Without you there

‘Most everyday

To sing and laugh with me.

Still, life goes on

One surely knows.

But where does that leave you?

No longer in my life –

Or will our friendship carry on?

My future’s here

And you are not –

And yet, it seems you are.

And it’s true!

For you’re forever in my heart.

They say the ones

That you love most
Will never really leave you.
I didn’t truly understand
Until my future
Caught up with me.


I have taken my last final as a freshman in college. It's kinda an awesome feeling. but, at first, it was being over-shadowed by something else. Dread, almost. You see, it has come to my attention that several people are leaving Flagstaff, and not only for the summer. Some of these people I have grown particularly fond of.  Some of these people have been a huge source of strength and joy this first year away from home. But that dread has been replaced with something else. Something almost like...resolve. Looking on what I was experiencing a year ago, it's kind of similar. Except, I'm not the one leaving. It's their future that is causing our paths to separate. I thought I was going to be done with this once I moved up here. I don't do well with change. I get attached to people. Sure, go ahead and change circumstances and situations, and I'll figure it out. But change the people around me, the people who have been my rocks? I turn into a mess. But...now I've remembered that it's not so bad. It will suck not seeing these awesome people constantly, but I will always have a relationship with them. And...yeah. Moving on with life. I'm excited for this summer, and for next semester. Who knows who the Lord will place into my path, next.


Also, I need to learn to, one, take pictures, and two, not run away from cameras. Seriously. I always regret not having pictures when times like these happen. Lame, Beth, lame. 


But this is prolly my favorite one taken this year.....the end.
 

 

Random musings

Life has been...interesting. That's prolly the best word for it. I keep meaning to do a blog post, but then I lose inspiration for it. Which is sad. Because blogging = writing, so no inspiration for writing is kinda a depressing thought. So, yeah. Now I'm just going to share randomness.

Racquetball. I need to play it more often. It brings me...I don't know if joy is the right word, but it's pretty much the only form of exercise I get. It's incredibly fun. If I'm having a bad day, it's a fabulous way to get it all out. Because, one, it physically exhausts me (instead of mentally and emotionally, like my days do) while shooting endorphins through me, so it's not a cranky tired. Two, I play with my friends, so there's usually laughter, and if I play with Christine, then there's even MORE laughter and slightly crazy antics.

Boys. I just...yeah. That's all I have to say about that.You can interpret it how you wish.

Spanish. I have a love-hate relationship with it. It stresses me out SO much! My grade in that class is so iffy. Half the time I don't understand what's going on, and the other half of the time the person who sits next to me doesn't pay attention, which, since I have Spanish at 8:00 in the morning, ticks me off slightly more than it probably should. I'm attempting at speaking in Spanish more...but lets face it. If it's not about food, it's kinda difficult. But, Friday, I totally used the subjunctive when I was practicing with someone I work with. First time I have ever used the subjunctive outside of class. I felt awesome. Also, I like to complain to Christine how much I hate Spanish (even though I don't actually hate it. That much.) because she has this weird obsession and love for it, so her reaction often makes me smile. Shhh...don't tell her...


Heavenly Father is a pretty incredibly guy. Did you know He, quite literally, created our brain so that living the Gospel will make us happy? There's been resent studies that show that things like service, gratitude, and other small things like that, help reinforce a certain way of thinking - a positive way of thinking - in a very natural way. And that certain way of thinking is more positive, is happier. It's so brilliant!

Sometimes, I don't understand some of the things Heavenly Father is trying to teach me. I had an experience last Sunday that really frustrated me, because I felt He was trying to tell me something, but I just wasn't getting it. But, I've also had a recent experience in which I caught a glimpse of His reasoning for certain things I'm experiencing. He's got a plan, and He's preparing me.

Pity. I have this awful habit of, when I'm feeling discouraged or down on myself, I start to pity myself. And it doesn't get me anywhere, because I get so wrapped up in, "My life is so awful, my life is so hard, why did this happen to me," and some thing else about me, myself, and I. And then I suck other people into it, trying to get them to pity me, complaining to them. I get stuck in the pity pit. It's a pit I get stuck in a lot.

I love psychology. And, I know that this is what I'm supposed to be studying. There was a fireside last Sunday, and there was a slideshow shown of a whole bunch of pictures. Many of the pictures were of downtrodden, hopeless, distressed, sad people. And I just had the very strong feeling and impressing that THIS is why I'm doing what I'm doing. So I can help people like this be happy, to have joy - and to find it in the Gospel and in Christ. This is why I'm here in Flagstaff, going to NAU. Because Heavenly Father sees that, somehow, this is the best place for me to learn to do just that - and learn many other things.

It's been 10 months and 9 days since I've moved up to Flagstaff. It's been an...eventful 10 months. And I wouldn't trade them for the world. So much growing has happened. Sometimes I start thinking about how I'm in college, living on my own, depending on myself for financial stuff, and stuff like that, and I freak myself out a bit. I don't think I will ever feel old enough for where I am in life. I remember last year, as a senior in high school and I would have random moments of feeling weird that I was old enough to be in high school. But...that's life.

I have a phone date with Lanelle on Tuesday. I'm excited. I lurve that girly with all my heart!

So...random musings are over. Life is fantastic, for the most part. Full of stress, but that's nothing new. Full of wonderful friends who love me and support me. Full of blessings from Heavenly Father. Just fantastic.

My friend.

Today is Easter Sunday. One of my favorite Sundays. I try to center my life on Christ. I try to live like Him every day. But, I am not perfect. And often times I fail. Quite epically. And get discouraged and frustrated with myself. But, then Easter comes around, and I'm given new energy. Because I'm reminded that what Christ did was to give us more than one chance. It was to give us the opportunity to change. And, unfortunately, change is a very long, difficult, and often painful process. But, with Christ, it may be long, but not as long as it would be without Him; difficult, but it's much easier with His help; painful, but He is the Balm of Gilead that can soothe any pain we feel. Easter time, I feel renewed. Invigorated. And each Easter, I start to remember Christ even more than the year before. And by remembering, it's easier to do - to act more like He would.

This Friday, I took a day-trip (more like half a day-trip) down to Mesa in order to watch the Easter Pageant. Man. I love it. Each time I watch it, I'm filled with the Spirit. I'm filled with a great joy and hope and peace. There a few scenes I want to mention.

One is a scene that I always look forward too. It's pretty much my favorite scene ever. Christ is with the little children. Blessing them, healing them, being with them. And there's this little boy with a crutch. He doesn't walk very well, or very quickly. In fact, it's almost painful to watch. He slowly makes his way to Christ, but there's other children in the way, and it seems that Christ doesn't notice him. But, then Christ looks and him and beckons to him. As the boy makes his way towards Christ in his very slow, painful manner, he drops his crutch halfway through, and then runs into Christ's arms. It's always a very powerful moment for me. And I had a thought Friday as I watched it - I've possibly had the thought before, but I don't remember because I didn't write it down. Sometimes this life is hard, discouraging. Our progress is slow and is almost painful. But, then Christ is there, beckoning to us. As we keep Him in sight, and we focus on Him and try to answer His beckon, we can throw down whatever crutch we may have and sprint into His arms. The pain will be healed.

Another scene is, again, with the little children. Christ is with them. And then they sing a song. In it, they repeat the words, "My Savior, my Redeemer, my Friend." I often mention how Christ is my best friend ever because of what He did for me. But, to hear it from the mouths of children, and it became even more powerful to me. Christ took the time to be with the little children. To play with them, to talk with them, to teach them. I wonder how the apostles and disciples saw Him. Because He spent so much time with them, teaching. But did they see Him in the simplicity that the little children saw Him. I'm sure He talked about more than the Gospel with the adults. I'm sure He did things with them more than just teach. He was their friend. He gave comfort. He made them smile and laugh. Everything our friends do for us.

Christ is our friend. We only have to see Him like it. Think about it. He's given us so much. He gives us comfort. He lifts us up. I think of my close friends. Katie Alston. Bradley. McKenna. Christine. Lanelle. Why do I love them so much and cling to their friendship? They make me laugh. They bring me joy when I'm in the dark. They serve me, they comfort me, they love me. And, I see Christ in them, in their love and their actions. If I see Christ in them, then wouldn't He do many of the things that they do in our friendship that I treasure? In fact, I know He sent me those people to me, to help me. So they could be my friends and act as He would.

It is Easter. A day to remember. To remember how the greatest man who ever walked the earth lived his life. He lived for us. He suffered for us. He died for us. But, now, he lives for us. He is our hope. He has given us a way to repent. A way to change. A way to return back to Him and Heavenly Father.

I cannot wait for the day when I am in His presence again. Hopefully I will be worthy and have lived my life in a way that He will be proud of.

I feel I will greet Him in a similar manner as this man. I will want to do nothing else but to wrap my arms around Him. He, who suffered and died for me. He who understands everything I go through because He went through them Himself. He, who is my Savior. My Redeemer. My friend.