Happiness is...

I love the song from Peanuts, Happiness. Some of the things mentioned are very childish...but I think that's only the simplicity of it. And simple things should make you happy.

HAPPINESS IS FINDING A PENCIL.
PIZZA WITH SAUSAGE
TELLING THE TIME.HAPPINESS IS LEARNING TO WHISTLE.
TYING YOUR SHOE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME.

HAPPINESS IS PLAYING THE DRUM IN YOUR OWN SCHOOL BAND.
AND HAPPINESS IS WALKING HAND IN HAND.HAPPINESS IS TWO KINDS OF ICE CREAM.
KNOWING A SECRET.
CLIMBING A TREE.
HAPPINESS IS FIVE DIFFERENT CRAYONS.
CATCHING A FIREFLY.
SETTING HIM FREE.

HAPPINESS IS BEING ALONE EVERY NOW AND THEN.
AND HAPPINESS IS COMING HOME AGAIN.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAY TIME AND NIGHT TIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

HAPPINESS IS HAVING A SISTER.
SHARING A SANDWICH.
GETTING ALONG.
HAPPINESS IS SINGING TOGETHER WHEN DAY IS THROUGH,
AND HAPPINESS IS THOSE WHO SING WITH YOU.
HAPPINESS IS MORNING AND EVENING,
DAYTIME AND NIGHTTIME TOO.
FOR HAPPINESS IS ANYONE AND ANYTHING AT ALL
THAT'S LOVED BY YOU.

These lyrics are in a different order than what I'm used to...apparently the animated video is different than the actual musical. But. I love them. I've always loved the last verse best. But, I feel that, as I've spent more time here in Flagstaff for college, I've learned to appreciate the simple things. So, I find the rest of this song very appropriate. Except maybe the first verse...I've been tying my shoes for awhile now...but I DO enjoy pizza. Always.

Happiness is being able to sing.
Happiness is being able to sit and read my scriptures and feel the Spirit.
Happiness is sending someone a simple text and having them tell you that it made their day.
Happiness is receiving revelation.
Happiness is getting a random hug. (By random I don't mean from a random person. That probably wouldn't be happiness.)
Happiness is not having to go to my least favorite class.
Happiness is being surrounded by wonderful people.
Happiness is (are?) friends who know how to make me smile.
Happiness is friends who make me laugh SO much.
Happiness is friends who give me support when I need it.
Happiness is friends who I can tell certain things that very few people know about.
Happiness is trying to be better.
Happiness is Mika (whom I am listening to currently.)
Happiness is Amy being pregnant. :)
Happiness is being an aunt.
Happiness is going to Mesa Veteran's Day weekend and then Thanksgiving, and then winter break.
Happiness is the holidays.
Happiness is seeing the hand of Christ in my life - through the blessings I receive and through the actions of my friends.
Happiness is talking to old friends and making new friends.
Happiness is pizza.
Happiness is free food.
Happiness is spending time with my friends who have become my family while I am separated from my real family (other than Amy, Stephen, and baby in process).
Happiness is seeing all these things in my life that make me happy.

I do get in my funks. My random cranky, grumpy moods where I secretly want to yell at people or punch a wall (these usually happen when I'm hungry or tired. Or both.) But, I am ultimately happy. There was a short period of time a little while ago where I pretty much smiled/laughed when around certain people. But those experiences always are proceeded by the happiest times of my life. It makes me appreciate being happy; smile more, because I know smiles are precious; try to be more grateful, because I come to recognize the people who care about me and try to help me. And, now...I am happy. Happiness is my life, despite the trials, my funks, the stress, and lack of pizza in it at the moment. (I really like pizza. And am now craving it.)

So, do me a favor. Smile, kay? It releases endorphins. And will likely make someone's day. If you're having trouble being happy, make a list of happiness. Or let people you can trust know, and I can guarantee they will do whatever is to help put a smile on your face. This I know from experience - on both sides. 

Just a little randomness

I think I've shared this poem here before...but I want to do it again. You see, most times I feel very self-conscious about sharing my poems. I'm a little bit afraid of them getting torn apart by poetry fanatics who read/write much better stuff than what I write. I'm also a little bit afraid of people not understanding what I'm trying to get across. You see, I'm a very emotional person. Sometimes (most times) I have no clue how to express that emotion. So, sometimes, I resort to writing. And sometimes that writing comes in the form a poem. So, by sharing a poem I have written, I'm sharing a little piece of me. But...this particular poem, I am very, very proud of. It's either my favorite or second favorite that I've written. Like, legitimately. Which says a lot, because usually I'm too indecisive to pick a favorite anything. (Except singer, color, and food. If you don't know those are, then you really don't know me...honestly! haha) So. Anyway. This poem.

Out of the Darkness

I look out into the darkness,
The deep, dark Night.
I see nothing,
Save rare glimpses
Of Light.

Despair fills my heart,
For my eyes see nothing
But the deep, dark Night.

My eyes close tight,
Hoping that when they open,
There'll be no more Night.
But, no, the dark
Still overwhelms.

Fear grips my being,
Fear of the unknown
As strange, eerie sounds
Penetrate the Night and
Come to my ears.

There terror nearly masters me,
Till I see another small Light,
And I'm reminded of
The Dawn.

Hope overtakes the
Fear, despair, and terror,
Every bad thought and feeling
Banished.

For the Dawn breaks
Every morn.
The Sun will come.

Though clouds shroud the sky,
And also my heart,
The Sun will always come.
Maybe not in the open, or
Clearly seen,
But always there.

The Sun waits to
Shine through the darkness.

There can be no darkness
Without the Light.
There can be no morning
Without the Night.

The terror is gone,
The hope growing strong,
And my eyes are now
Towards the sky,
Searching for the coming
Sun.

My favorite part: "There can be no darkness/Without the Light./there can be no morning/Without the Night."

There must be opposition in all things. Something I am constantly reminded of. I think the Lord knows that I would forget way too easily if I He didn't send me reminders all the time. And I know, no matter the trial, there will be an end. There is hope. And the light will be even brighter than it was before. I will appreciate it more.

Yes. Despite all Satan is doing, he's just making us stronger, once we finish a struggle with him. Funny, yet awesome how that works. Our greatest enemy, who is trying his hardest to bring us down and make life miserable, is actually creating the potential for us to become stronger, rise up higher, and be the happiest you could ever become. It's like a double whammy to him. You kick him in the face, and then get stronger.

One last thing. I am happy. Just thought I'd share that. :)

Just a little testament

So. Just a tiny little story to share. This paycheck was a little bit smaller than normal. I missed a day of work because of vertigo. (Dang dizzy spells run in the family. Still not completely sure why I've been getting them recently.) So, I was freaking out just a little bit on the inside because rent is due soon/I owe Katie some money that I keep forgetting about. But, then I was doing some financial stuff like balancing my checkbook and such. (It makes me feel like an adult. A little adult because I really have no clue what I'm doing.) And I noticed I had more money in my checking account than I should. About $100 more. Then, I realized that my refund for my housing fee from my enrollment deposit (I get it back since I don't live on campus) went straight into my checking account. Happy day! It was...perfect timing. Really. I'm very grateful. I'm certain this is a blessing come from paying tithing, fast offerings, and from improving on some things that I was slacking on before. Yes, I would have eventually gotten the money. But it came at a wonderful time. A time where I was beginning to stress out. I'm so grateful to the Lord for this blessing - and many other blessings He has sent my way recently. And I'm grateful that I was able to recognize it as a blessing so I could send my thanks to Him. It's just...happiness right now. :)

Mesa-town

This weekend, I spent some much needed time in Mesa. Half of the time, I did absolutely nothing (which actually means watching TV and attempting to do homework. So it was mostly watching TV. Which I haven't done in forever.) The other half, I spent with family and friends. But mostly family. I'm not going to lie...this was kind of a selfish trip. I saw people that I felt I absolutely needed to see for my sanity. I do wish I had seen more, because I could always do with more sanity...haha but it was nice to see the people that I did. Saturday morning was filled with family. My parents actually were out of town for their anniversary...but my brothers came over to try to help fix something that's going on with the water pipes or something...I don't live there anymore. I don't know what's going on. But, because of that, I go to see my sis-in-law Leigh and her 3 boys. They are crazy boys. They sometimes like to scream and throw fits. But their laughter, sweet hugs, and hilarious antics make it worth it. Usually.

Then, that afternoon/eveningish, I went and played racquetball with McKenna, Bradley, and Alex.  It was SO weird to be on Mesa High campus again. Plus there's a whole new building.  It kinda tripped me out to actually see it completed.  Also. Racquetball makes me happy. It was pretty much the best thing ever playing with people I love so much. Besides, I think everyone looks silly at one point when they play, so it makes for laughter - you're getting a work out from running around, plus you're laughing. Best workout EVER! I really should make more time for it. It probably would relieve SO much stress and tension from my body. Maybe not from my mind, but, hey, I'd take a cluttered mind and a relaxed back over a tense back and a still cluttered mind. Because I don't think my mind will ever become uncluttered, until I die and have no worries.

Sunday, I went to Derek Partridge's farewell. And saw SO many people there. People that I didn't expect to see, but was extremely glad that I did see. Then, I saw my new and adorable niece Abby. I usually get to see my nieces and nephews in the hospital shortly after their born...waiting two weeks before I got to see her was killer. After I visited Lisa and Abby, I decided to go to the last hour of my home ward. But, instead of going to Relief Society like a good little 18 year old, I snuck into Young Women. Yes, sometimes I do miss those little girlies. And, I pretty much think those leaders are some of the most amazing women in the world. After church, I sat and had a good talk with Sis. Ramos, the Young Women president. She's pretty much my hero. Actually, I think that talk with her was the reason why I went down to Mesa. I really needed to hear some of the things she said to me. Because. I am not perfect. Nor will I ever be in this life. And I can't beat myself up for not achieving that perfection. Yes, I can always do better. This life is about progression, but when I mess up, I just need to accept it, try and fix, and if it truly bothers me, take it to Christ because He knows how to help best.

I'm just...really happy right now. Definitely an improvement to past weeks. It's not like life is perfect. Because it's not. Yet, I can still choose happiness. If it becomes something difficult to choose, then it's time to put my trust in the Lord and He'll help me out, whether it's through words spoken by a friend, a kind act of service someone performs for me, or a song played that speaks to me. Life is great. Sometimes I just need reminders and need to count my blessings - I have lots of them!

I'm grateful for the chance I had to go to Mesa this weekend. I did have a good week, but this weekend was the frosting on the cake. It was exactly what I needed. I think it will hold me off until next month. I get to go down TWO times. One for Veteran's Day weekend, and then Thanksgiving. Happiness.

Life-ness

So I thought it might be about time to do another post. Unfortunately, I have no clue what to actually post about. Life is pretty much the same. I'm doing a lot better than what I was before. I feel like I'm getting a handle on things again. Hopefully it stays that way. Not that I'm not stressed about school anymore. It's pretty much eating up all of my time. I seriously can't wait for winter break. I'll probably be in Mesa for the majority of it. Though I may get sick of Mesa before I come back to Flag...but we'll see. (P.S. It's totally been Mesa winter weather the past week or so. Minus the snow. Because it doesn't snow in Mesa. It's been making me want to sing Christmas songs.) Speaking of Mesa, I'm going to be making a visit this weekend. I'll be super busy and I don't know how much time I'll actually have to see people...but it'll be nice. And warm. I'll be able to sleep in shorts again! haha

Let's see, what else do I have to say? Today we're getting our visiting teaching assignments. We haven't gotten them yet because of the constant change of war membership. But, I'm so excited for it! That pretty much was the sole reason why I was excited to be going from Young Women to Relief Society. It's weird, because it's just more responsibility and more work and more time, but...it's all for the love for people. This is just being someone's friend - someone they can go to and can help them. It's the whole "mourning with those who mourn" thing. Lifting another's burden. A huge part of being Christian and being a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints.

Oh! I know. I experienced my first snow last week. Pretty sure all my friends thought I was nuts because I went all crazy excited about it. It wasn't hardcore snow, though. Didn't stick. But it was exciting. And, no need to worry for me. I have pretty much the most epic snow jacket ever. I'm going to be the warmest person in Flagstaff, no doubt about that.

Yeah, well, I don't have much else to say. My life is kinda dull at this point. I have all A's so far (Woot!) which pretty much makes all the stress and freak out worth it. Sorry this wasn't the most thrilling of posts. Maybe after this weekend I'll have something fun to talk about. We'll see.

Love my friends!

I know I talk about my friends on here a lot. But that's simply because I have no clue where I would be without the special friends I have in my life. As I've mentioned previously, I've been having a hard time recently. And it's not exactly getting better. A lot of it is an attitude thing that I'm working on improving. A lot of it is simply me not having a clue of what I'm doing. But there is one thing (well, one of a few. the one that I'm talking about right now) that makes it all better, in the end: my friends.

I'm so blessed by the friends I have in my life, here in Flagstaff and down in Mesa. I would be...utterly lost right now without them. When I'm feeling really down, one of them will say something or send me a text that puts a smile on my face that I actually feel  - not a fake one that I put on so people don't know how bad I feel. There's a select few who I will let know when I'm having a really bad time. Sometimes it's to ask for help, or simply to vent, in a one line phrase, just how frustrated I'm getting with everything. But, they always can help me in some way.

Today, Katie Wilson, one of my roommates, had an orchestra concert. I had been trying to get her sister - one of my best friends - Kristina to come up to watch it. She would never really give me a straight answer whether or not she was coming, until yesterday, when I was having a really bad day, when she finally told me she was coming up. (Apparently she had been planning it for awhile but wanted to surprise me) So today, I pretty much was super excited and was getting antsy to see her. So, finally, Kristina walks in the door, and I freak out and get all happy. Then she looks back at the door, so I turn around, and lo and behold, there's Holly Dixon! Totally unexpected! Seeing the two of them pretty much made the month of October for me. And it's just barely begun!

The reason why I'm sharing this is...because it basically was the best thing ever. I don't know how today would have been for me without them here. It was a tender mercy of the Lord. I laughed SO much. I don't remember the last time I laughed that hard. And I was really smiling. This is what my friends are to me. They make things better when I feel lost, or confused, or unhappy.

I love my friends. A lot. It always is wonderful to have reminders of just how lucky I am because of my friends. I am filled with gratitude to the Lord for Him guiding me down my path so that I have met and made these incredible friends. I am...eternally grateful to them. And I hope I can someday show them my gratitude and appreciation for all that they've done for me.