I Stand All Amazed

"I stand all amazed at the love Jesus offers me,
Confused at the grace that so fully He proffers me.
I tremble to know that for me, He was crucified,
That for me, a sinner, He suffered, He bled and died.

Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me,
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I marvel that He would descend from His throne divine,
To rescue a soul so rebellious and proud as mine,
That He should extend His great love unto such as I,
Sufficient to own, to redeem, and to justify.


Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me,
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!

I think of His hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion, can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat,
Until at the glorified throne, I kneel at His feet.


Oh, it is wonderful that He should care for me,
Enough to die for me!
Oh, it is wonderful, wonderful to me!"
 - "I Stand All Amazed" Hymn #193

This song is very special to me. I read it almost every week when the sacrament is being passed. It has inspired multiple poems of mine, simply because the words evoke such emotion from me. I one day hope to write something that conveys such a powerful message of Christ is a way such as this hymn. And, it astounds me how, no matter how many times I've read it before, I can still learn something from it. Today, I learned something very special and precious to me. And, I want to share it with you.

The three verses have a word in common - love. Christ is the perfect example of love. He loves so much! The reason why He did what He did was because of His love. His love for you! And what amazes me even more...His love for me. The third verse of this song is the most powerful to me. "I think of His hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!" I have this thing with pain. I'm kinda terrified of it. When I'm experiencing pain, I'm usually perfectly fine. But imagining it...it's absolutely awful. I imagine those nails striking His hand, going all the through. It hurts me just to think about it. But, it always causes me to look at my hands. Would I do the same for those around me? More importantly, though...do these hands represent Christ's hands?

What struck me today in sacrament meeting is the importance of love. I mean, love was Christ's whole motivation! If not the love for us, then love for Heavenly Father, and wanting to do His will.

This is how He shows His love for us. The infinite, insurmountable, and perfect love He has:

And then...there will be one day I will be able to meet Him, His hands outstretched towards me - those scarred, marked hands. And, hopefully, when we do meet, my hands will have emulated His. They may not have scars on them like His, but maybe I will have done His work through them.

"I think of His hands pierced and bleeding to pay the debt!
Such mercy, such love and devotion, can I forget?
No, no, I will praise and adore at the mercy seat
Until at the glorified throne I kneel at his feet."

I truly do stand all amazed at the love Christ has for me. And I hope I will live my life in a way so that I portray that love to others.

Happy Valentine's Day!

So. This song has been going through my head all morning. Why? Because it's Valentine's Day. Now, before I've always had a great disliking for Valentine's Day. I mean, really, it's all commercialized. It's a Hallmark holiday. Plus, you know, being single on this day isn't exactly fun. BUT! I decided to change my perspective a bit. It first started with Katie Alston walking up to me at church on Sunday and saying, "Beth, would you be my valentine?" I giggled and said yes. I mean, she's one of my best friends. Duh. But, then I started thinking about it. Why does Valentine's Day have to only be about mushy, sappy, lovey-dovey couple stuff? It should be about the love you have for everyone else too! So, I've been trying to spread the love to my friends. To take the day to let them know what they mean to me, because, after all, I have the best friends a person could ask for. So. This post is just gonna be showing ya'll some of the important people in my life, whom I love most dearly.

Mi hermana, Amy. :) It's so wonderful having her nearby, when I have no other family close by.

Mi familia! I love them lots. And miss them lots. The thing with having such a big family, is that's it's constantly growing, and changing, and developing. The people progress and change. They have happy times that I miss out on, they have trials that I'm too far away to help much with. It's hard being away from them. But, I love them!

My roomies. My family that I'm not related to. They bring great joy into my life. I was super lucky to have landed in such a great apartment with these wonderful ladies!

Yeah. Alto power. Pretty much the best group of altos you will ever find! These girls gave me lots of support and love, especially the last semester of my senior year of high school. They're pretty much the coolest, and I kinda want to sing with them one last time!

My Chamber peeps! I have a deep and abiding love for these people. They pretty much made my senior year. I never loved singing more than when I was singing with them. They brought such joy in my life, and I can't wait for the day when we will be reunited again. I don't know when it will happen...but it will!

Katie Alston. :) Where would I be without her? I don't know. I love her lots!  So grateful for her in my life.

Holly Dixon. (I actually have this picture in my room. Like, the only other picture that's mine, other than a picture of Jesus and the temple.) Ever since I've met her, she's been a source of sunshine in my life. I go to her for happy thoughts when I'm blue. Yeah. she's pretty much awesome. And I love her.

Kristina Wilson, Kaitlyn Crockett, and Holly Dixon. All three of these girls are pretty much fantastic. I. Love. Them.

Danielle Driggs and Lanelle Alldredge. Haha oh you should have seen us at Girls Camp. We were kinda super crazy. I laugh my hardest when I'm with these girls.

Johnathan Speakman. (I'm not gonna lie. Part of the reason I put this picture up here is because you will not often find such an attractive young man with his arm around me. It's kinda a source of pride for me.) Johnathan is one of the greatest young men I know. He is one of my best guy friends. I often sign my letters to him as "Your sister." 

Bradley Whiting. Bahaha, aren't the two of us just absolutely attractive?! Bradley is a stud. He's always so polite and super sweet. He's leaving for his mission soon, and will make one fantastic missionary. Dude. I miss this kid.

Christine Posvistak. You know you're totally jelly of our level of awesomeness. I know you are. No. Really, I know. She's absolutely fantastic and fortune was shining down when she made the decision to come to NAU. Just...no words. She's amazing.

Alright. Now, just because you are not mentioned here doesn't mean I don't love you. Because, let's face it. I love lotsa people. And have very few pictures of myself and others. Mostly because I generally avoid cameras. I know I have a tendency to not express the love I have for others. It's a fault of mine. I just have a hard time expressing how I feel. So, I usually chicken out and do it through writing. Or texts. I know. Lame. But I'm not good at exposing myself in that way. But, I hope that you - yes! YOU! - know that I love you. Because I do. And I know I'm not the only one. Happy Valentine's Day! Don't forget to spread the love!

Sometimes...

Sometimes I reuse blogpost titles. Because I'm lame and can't think of a better one.

• Sometimes I listen to John Schmidt piano music and it makes me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I have the opportunity to play the piano for church functions such as a baptism, and I'm able to use my talents as a service to the Lord, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I stay up until the wee hours of the night, hanging out with friends (getting a finger shoved up my nose...), where we all become giddy and slightly ridiculous, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes the spirit shares with me an awesome way to start my Relief Society lesson, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I get a paycheck (actually, every two weeks) relieving some (and by some, I mean a lot of) stress from my life, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I can come home to my roommates and rant and vent to them and they don't judge me, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes, I make time for the most important things in life, like progress and improvement, taking time to listen to the spirit, and spending time with the dearest of friends, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes the Lord sends reminders of how much He loves me, and that He truly is aware of me, making me extremely grateful and extremely happy.
• Sometimes I get to see some of my Mesa peeps, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I go to a jazz choir concert, and I'm reminded of my love of jazz choirs, making me extremely happy.
• Sometimes I hear a John Schmidt song that I attempt to play and am like "Oh. That's how it's really supposed to sound." And hearing the song makes me extremely happy. (Especially since the way I play isn't too bad.)
• Sometimes I have so many reasons for being happy - making me extremely happy!
• Sometimes...my life is pretty much awesome, and despite my trials, I have no reason to not be happy. 
• Sometimes...I actually do things right, which allows for my life to be awesome. Making me extremely happy. 

In other words, I am extremely happy! Well...I guess that's not in other words, huh...BUT life is good. I know I'm like a broken record, repeating that in almost every blogpost. But, it's hard not to try to share this joy! I share in the hopes of uplifting others, in the hope of putting a smile on someone's face, maybe making a difference and inspiring them to choose to be happy. So. Yes. Be happy. Smile. If you need help with happiness, don't just stay all alone in your room - it's hard for someone to help you if you do that. Don't be afraid - or too proud, if you're like me - to ask for help. You probably are surrounded by more people than you would believe who are willing to help you. And, there's always your Father in Heaven and your Elder Brother, Christ, who are there for you.

Happiness. It's a great thing. I would recommend it some time! :)

I love life.

So. I've pretty much been super happy lately. This time last week...I was a little bit of a mess. I had been given some news that really brought me down. I could smile and laugh on the outside, but on the inside, I was completely and utterly unhappy. But, then I went to my institute class on Tuesday, and was filled with the spirit. Do you know how good the spirit feels? It completely changed me! I mean, the news was still in the back of my mind. It still is currently. It'll be there for awhile. But, it shouldn't affect my happiness. I shouldn't allow anything to affect my happiness! I'm SO incredibly blessed in this life. I mean, yeah, I have a lot of trials. But, I can allow those trials to strengthen me. And make me a better person.

In my social psych class (I'm so glad I'm actually taking things in in that class. It's SUPER boring.) we talked about how negative thoughts and feelings are much powerful than positive. Well...I don't buy it! Maybe for the natural man. Maybe for the average person who doesn't try to be happy and constantly look for happiness and blessings. I mean, yeah, you can't be happy every minute of every day. But, positive, good, is SO much stronger than anything negative! I could list you a HUGE list of things that aren't seeming to go my way in life. But, I can also give you a list of the wonderful things in my life. And, even if there was one thing to that huge list of negatives, I would be happy!

I am surrounded by wonderful people who care about me, who take care of me, who love me and help me, and who constantly inspire and uplift me. I have enough - maybe not plenty or extra, but enough and that's all that matters. I have this wonderful Gospel in my life. I have this wonderful opportunity to get an education. I get to go to the institute building almost every day, allowing myself some time to free myself of whatever worries or stress I might be feeling. And I often take the time to play the piano. I've played the piano more regularly this past week than I have for about 6 months. It feels good. And...I'm just happy. I love life. Despite how dire some of my trials might seem to someone else, they seem quite insignificant to me (most of the time.). I'm so grateful for everything in my life - and when I say everything, I mean everything! I think I've discovered the word for what I'm feeling: content. Not content in the sense that I'm feel like I'm awesome and don't need to progress anymore, but content in the sense that...my LIFE is awesome, and I have everything I need at the moment. What's there not to be happy about. Yeah. Life is pretty awesome.

You should smile more in life. Happy looks good on you. :)

Superheroes

Today's sacrament meeting was...intense, for lack of a better word. When the sacrament was being passed, and as I partook of it, I had a...very special time with the Lord. Very personal. And I don't think I could explain in a way that would suffice the feelings I felt, and the spirit that touched me.

And then the sharing of the testimonies was incredible! Long, but incredible. A friend of mine, Christine, got up to share her testimony and said something that caused me to take a step back and reflect on my life - something I always should do more often. She said that we, as members of this church, are superheroes. Because of this wonderful gift that we have! Everyone on Earth is born with the light of Christ - though, whether they use it or not is their own choice - but it is only when we are confirmed as members of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints, are we given the gift to receive the Holy Ghost. A gift that enables us to have the Holy Ghost with us at all times - as long as we let him come and are in environments that allow him to be with us. We have truth that no one else has. With this truth, and with this spirit - and by living the truth and following the spirit - we are privileged to such amazing happiness. Now, it's not like people outside of the church are all depressed and gloomy every day of their lives. But, I have noticed that, generally, members of the church are happier and have a more positive outlook on life. I never really realized this until about a year ago, in my AP Psychology class. We were assigned to make personality masks - things that have made us who we are, things that are important to us, and, perhaps, things we pretend - the outside of the mask - and what we hide - the inside.  When we presented them in class, it was, literally, the most depressing days in class that I have ever experienced. Everyone talked about these horrible situations they were living it, these trials they went through, and how they struggled for happiness. My presentation...well, I felt like I did mine wrong! Mine was mostly positive. Basically I was like, "These things make me happy, these trials were hard, and made me happy, and this experience made me realize the importance of being happy, even if it's hard!" Mine was just so positive compared to theirs! It seemed like I was so much happier than everyone else! And I realized that it was because of the Church and it's role in my life. I mean, it's not like I'm not happy at every instance of my life. I have had several trials where it was a struggle to put a smile on face. But I don't focus on the negatives of my life. And, if I do, I focus on how those times made me stronger - making them positive! And, this is because if you live the teachings and are striving to truly be the best you can be...well, you'll be happy!

Christine went on to say that the reason we were superheroes wasn't necessarily because we HAVE this knowledge that gives us such great happiness, but because we strive to bring the truth and happiness to others. And...I wondered...am I really being a superhero? Too often lately, I've been thinking about myself. A lot. To the point where, I don't think I'm doing my part in trying to share what I have with others. I've been having some rough times - but nothing is so great that I can't think of others! Last Sunday, I had a special experience during a special number. I thought about how little I have, but it is still enough to give! And I was struck that I need to search for the opportunities to give and to serve. And, this week, I had two experiences where I was able to do just that. And each time, it was incredibly hard. But, I knew that the blessings I will receive will be tenfold of what I gave - though maybe not in the way I expect. (Actually...I'm banking on those blessings. I kinda really need them at the moment.) Because I DO what to be that superhero. Someone that has the ability - and takes the opportunity - to help others. And then, I started thinking about the superheroes in my life, especially recently.

Like Christine. I really don't think I could ever say enough about that girl, or express how truly good she is. She is, quite literally, the most Christlike person I have ever come across. (Except for, like, the few general authorities I have met. But seriously. Out of all people other than them.) She has become one of the greatest strengths and greatest shining lights in my life recently. Seriously. I don't know how my life would be going the past few weeks if she hadn't been a part of my life. Definitely a superhero, not only in my life, but pretty much every life she comes in contact with.

My roommates. Each and everyone of them have helped me in someone. They make me laugh, bring joy into my life, and help strengthen my testimony.

Katie Alston. Dude. This girl can make me laugh and smile, pretty much no matter what. And we both ate a whole pizza together in one night. And I probably could have eaten more. She has an amazing trust in God that has been a great example to me of how I should lead my life.

My parents. :) Being away from them really has forced me to see all that they did - and do - for me. And I probably don't realize just to what extent they give and serve for me. Everytime I go down, they ask me, "So what do you need?" And my response usually is, "Uh, well, I don't exactly need anything. I'm doing fine." They then proceed to say, "Ok, well, what do you want?" and then bombard with me food, that I didn't need at the time. They're pretty much awesome. And I love them. I'd be nowhere without them.

There's so many more. I have so many superheroes in my life. And I think it's time to step up my game so I can be one too.

So. Let's be like these superheroes. But cooler!